Thursday, August 14, 2014

Jesus and Oreos

Jesus and Oreos have gotten me through the last four months. Actually, I didn't come up with that tag line. It was suggested in a comment on a status update that I posted the other night. My daughter thinks that it ought to be the title of the book many hope that I will write. The truth is that I don't think that I can write a book about the last four months because doing so would mean reliving it and that I have no desire to do. It has been far too painful. Don't get me wrong, there have been countless blessings along the way and more to come, I hope.
Our lives took a catastrophic turn four months ago when our son fell/fainted or whatever and hit his driveway head-on. He arrived in the ER with his pupils fixed and dilated and was unresponsive to pain stimuli. He had suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Thus began our journey as a family into unknown territory. Before his accident I, of course, had heard of brain injury  but had no idea of the magnitude nor scope of the rammafications of one. To decompress I began to write each day on Facebook about his accident and the recovery process. The writing became cathartic also and friends began to read the posts and pass them on to others. Wow!
As a result of the posts, I began to hear from people from all over. Friend requests poured in and comments grew in numbers. It is a humbling experience to say the least. I am not a writer, nor did I ever intend to be one. There are lots of posts now and yes, they should be put into some sort of book-like form, but I have no idea about how to do it. One of our son's friends has offered to do it for me and I hope that he will. I think that our son would like to read them one day, because right now he knows how hard he is working to recover, but probably has no idea about the forces behind him that I tried to chronicle in my posts. The posts are also a testament to our faith in God's healing powers, a fact that in today's throw-away society is not popular.
The posts are also about an education process. Who knew that after a TBI the brain can heal and rewire? I didn't. I have also learned about the detours that the brain must use in order to re-route thoughts and communication. I have added new words to my vocabulary. Words like aphasia and neuro receptors did not mean anything to me four months ago, but they do now. I didn't know that 40% of all TBIs are caused by falls. Although I know more now than I did before; there is so much more to learn. I feel compelled to keep reading and researching. Why? That is simple; because I want my boy back. No, he is a man now, but to me he is still the precious baby boy with the serious face and the stubborn attitude. I may never get the exact boy/man back, but I will do whatever it takes to see him through this nightmare however it looks in the end. He is getting better everyday, but we have been told a thousand times to be patient and that it takes time. I am not patient by nature, but I am learning.
Sadly, there is no celebrity spokesman for TBI. No one will be dumping buckets of ice over their heads challenging their friends to do the same or donate $$$ to a charity. There are no fancy balls with silent auctions to raise money for research. There is no door-to-door campaign. No robo calls begging for money. TBI is not glamorous. It is ugly, mean and pervasive. In some cases it it is a life sentence of the worst kind. I do not intend to demean the campaigns for other charities that are doing great thing for people, but only to point out the need for TBI awareness .
Our son is lucky. He has retired parents, a huge friend base,  a dedicated wife and resources that are available to him. Many others do not have any of that. After the hospital, rehab and therapies, and the insurance runs out there is little left for the survivors. I am willing to bet that there are homeless people who are TBI survivors. For many there is no network in place to help them continue their recovery process. Of course, there are agencies, support groups and such but even those are counter-productive to the survivors who are unaware or so lost that they can't assimilate the information.
We are lucky to live in a place that has a cognitive rehab agency. Our son is attending sessions that will help him regain what has been lost or damaged.
I want to help raise money and awareness. The research is ongoing and so important to many silent victims. Right now, our time is devoted to helping our son recover, but there will be a time in the not so distant future that I will, with God's help, spread the word about TBIs.  I have Jesus to guide me and Oreos to sustain me.