Hormones can sometimes cause one to be foggy. Mornings are especially trying because you can't quite kick start the day with all those cobwebs spinning in your head. A hot cup of coffee and the feel of the morning newspaper on my fingers is my touchstone with the real world just past the fogginess at the edge of my brain.

That is why yesterday's netherland (somewhere between the fogginess and awareness) is so perplexing! The first sip of coffee was barely past my lips when I heard my mother speak to me. Now, before anyone calls the white-coated strangers to take me to the quiet place, allow a small explanation. You see, the women on my mother's side of the family are somewhat clairvoiant. Our family history is fairly peppered with tales of the gift and times when it was exhibited. So, hearing Mom's voice was not shocking in a scary way. Since her death over three years ago, I've longed to hear her voice. What I think she said was, "That just isn't done" . Later, I tried to recall exactly what I heard, because the sound of her voice, I will admit, was so welcomed that I might have missed the actual message.

It would stand to reason that it would be that phrase, because for all of my life Mom said things like that. "That just isn't done" carried different meanings at different stages. She never followed the saying with a "because....", instead that phrase became a stand -alone statement and was never questioned. For instance,when I was a little girl it might have meant; Don't whack your baby sister with your doll. Later, when I was of dating age it might have meant: Don't sit in the driveway with that boy in his dark car or don't have sex before marriage. I think that I always knew that to defy the rule of what wasn't done meant dire consequences. The only time that I ever remember her saying it and my laughter was the time my daughter was reading a passage form a book. The book was, _The Southern Belle Primer_. The tongue-in-cheek passage dealt with admission to a Junior League. It stated that a sad young woman wasn't excepted by "the League" because she had put dark meat in her chicken salad! My mother replied, "Well, that just isn't done!" My daughter and I roared with laughter. We absolutely, without question, knew that Mom understood completely why the woman was not a "leaguer". What confused Mom was why we thought that it was such a hoot! By the way, my mom was not a league member , my daughter was as was I and none of us _ever_ put dark meat in our chicken salad. That just isn't done!

Okay, now flash back to yesterday's fogginess/clarvoiant message. Had I crossed the line? What was the "that" she was refering to? I know for a fact that I had not chewed gum in public, a real no-no in her book. What is it?

She didn't speak to me today. I've spent a restlass 24 wondering if she was saying that to let me know that she knows and understands that the events of this last week are not _my_ doing something "that just isn't done", but of those around me.

The betrayals of those people and the heartache it has caused my family, just isn't done. I don't need to finish the statement. Like mom, I can "see" the dire consequences. I told you so; we are clairvoiant.