This weekend we celebrated me. In a note on Facebook one of our sons posted a thank-you and some very nice words about his mother (me) and his mother-in-law. I responded with tears in my eyes that I only had one ambition; to be a good mother. I hope that he reads it and understands that I didn't mean that I never wanted to do or be anything else. Motherhood happened and there was absolutely no turning back. There was a time when I thought that my mother was the greatest mom ever, but boring. She was the "June Cleaver" of the neighborhood from her perfectly ironed apron to her comfortable "at home " shoes. With a smear of lipstick on, she'd meet Daddy at the backdoor as he came home from work. Next, after everyone had washed our hands and faces, we sat down to a perfectly orchestrated meal including a homemade dessert. I'm not kidding! Stay with me here, we did this every single day. My angst-ridden teenage self thought that her style was boring and mundane. Check out those very grown-up words, gleaned from the latest (at the time) vocabulary list. The term "role model" was far into the future and besides, I didn't see what she did as modeling. Mother told me that one day I'd need to learn some homemaking skills, but her words fell on my deaf ears.
Fast forward to my falling in love/dating/marriage/ after the honeymoon days. Oops, I should have paid more attention. I was forced to learn all those things that that my mother had warned me about, but that is a whole other post for another time.
Despite the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and just general wifey stuff; I did sometimes work outside the home. Not a career, mind you, just a means to an end. The end in our case having a little extra "pin money". That pin money sometimes fed us or paid a bill, but we could never depend on it, so when it came, it was a bonus. Sometimes the kids demeaned my stay-at-home status. They can be excused, however, because when it came time for a mom to bake cupcakes for the bake sale, drive for the field trip, organize the book sale, or help in any capacity at their school or outside activities, I volunteered or was volunteered for the job. Somewhere along the way, mothering became my career. I wouldn't change a thing.
That career has allowed me the opportunity to see a child light-up like the scoreboard at a baseball game when he or she finally "got it" after a tutoring session. Some of the kids would never have been able to go to the zoo, for instance, without career moms doing the driving. Cupcakes have become quite trendy, I see. We career moms were on the cutting edge years ago! I have cupcake pans that are older that the pyramids (not really, but that sounded good to say). Hundreds of cupcakes passed through them into the hungry mouths of as many children and a few adults along the way. We career moms have also proctored tests for English as a second language students even we if couldn't speak their language. Most important to me is that I was there for everything my children did, whether they wanted me there or not. I'd like to think that most often they wanted me there. My husband could be called a career dad, because I swear that I can't for the life of me remember his ever wanting to be anywhere more than he wanted to be with our kids and me. His responsibilities to his job could get in the way, but he somehow managed to be there for all the important events, no matter what. I wouldn't change a thing.
The young women of today are career women. They have broken the glass ceiling and are earning big bucks and slaying dragons at work. They have ipads, iphones, Twitter, Facebok, tele-commuting, tele-conferencing and wifi at the Starbucks. It's not a bad thing, mind you, to be so connected. My daughter and daughters-in-law are working mothers. They somehow get it done and manage to post pictures of the grand-darlings on Facebook so that their tech-challenged parents can see them. I admire them. They are all good mothers. They will make mistakes too just like I did and my mother before me. I can't imagine the pressure of a job as well as a home to manage! I wouldn't change a thing.
Who is baking the cupcakes? Who is organizing the book sale? Do schools even have those anymore or can a parent just offer to buy some books to be downloaded to a student's e-reader? Are all the cupcakes bakery-made? Who helps with the tutoring? It bothers me that the young mothers of today's world are missing some joy, but it will be up to them to figure it out. I have been there and done that to replay an adage. I wouldn't change a thing.
I never set out to be the best mother on the planet. Learning along the way and trying always to be as good a mother as I could be was my only real goal. From the moment I found out that I was carrying that first child; Being a mother was my chosen career. It is one that I am proud of and still find joy in. I pray for all mothers whether they work outside the home or not. I pray for God to give them the courage and strength to handle whatever challenges their kids face. I pray that they will have the dignity and grace to see their kids through when they fail or are rejected. I pray that they can rejoice in their kids' successes and hold their hands and hearts when they are sad or dejected. My mother prayed these things for me, I know that in my heart. I was a good mother, I know that too. After all, I did have a good role model. I wouldn't change a thing.
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