Random thoughts

Pardon me if I've written this before but I need to say it again. I started this blog mainly for my own children to read. The fact that I share it with others doesn't admit to any vanity or my part. It means that, should I forget thoughts or actions made by me, there will be other people not connected by blood to me who will remind me of them. In other words: before shutting the door on me remind my kids to erase any crappy stuff on my laptop but be sure to read the blog posts! Note to self; write down and store my passwords and then remember to tell the kids that they are in the safe. Another note to self: Give them the combination in order to open the safe. Whew, life as well as death is complicated! All of this is subject to change depending on how well and how long I live.

Now about those thoughts. It has occurred to me that I haven't lately told my children, their spouses and my grand-children how much I love them. This post could end right here, but since when have I ended anything without expounding on it?

Thought #1: Gene and I were looking at a huge house just this week. Never mind why, that is fodder for another blog. Anyway, the house had 3 floors and a basement apartment. He, snickering, replied, "We could buy this place and give each family a floor." I think that he might have been half-way serious. Let me set the record straight; I love all the kids, spouses and grand-darlings, but I don't think having us all under one roof would be a good idea. On the other hand, having daily access to my family would be a dream-come-true. Maybe a family compound would be a better idea? The Kennedys   had a lock on that one.

#2. I enjoy knowing and spending time with my adult kids. They don't want us to be their best friends and I really do get that, but eating a meal together (especially one that I didn't cook) or just having a talk over a drink, is a treat. When we still lived in Memphis, I had our parents over to our house frequently. They loved it and now I know why. For me, it meant that they could entertain the children and I that didn't have to drag the kids home from their house for bedtime and Mom or Nana could enjoy someone else's food with the added bonus of being with their grandchildren. I tried to cook a little fancier fare for them until one day when my mother said that even eating a peanut butter sandwich with her grandchildren was a treat. I know now what she meant.

#3. Bickering. Yes, I know bickering is a pain the bohunkus but it happens, all the time. Gene and I bicker, it's how we roll. I admit to fighting, but only about important things and people whom I love. Don't waste a huge amount of time on bickering. Save the energy for the big fights that really matter. I read an African proverb that said in part and I paraphrase, "When your day of reckoning comes and you face God, wear your bruises proudly. Otherwise, God will realize that you thought that  nothing on earth was worth fighting for." I will wear my bruises with honor as well as pride because I do fight for things and people worth fighting for.

#4. As much as mothers love their children, they need a break. No matter how liberated women have become, they still seem to carry the heaviest burden of caring for the kids. I tell everyone, including my own kids, that Gene and I shared their childcare from the first diaper change. That is true, but what I fail to say is that I paved the way for the shared responsibilities.  Setting the stage for the 50-50 rearing looked easy to the casual observer. Behind the scenes I was washing and drying the diapers and then we'd fold them together. If I had a meeting in the evening, the dinner meal was planned and he served it. See what I mean? Nowadays, dads can pick-up diapers on the way home from work and drive through the local McDonald's for chicken nuggets if Mom has a meeting. By the way, it was probably Mom's idea and plan that led to the drive through in the first place. A break for Mom is always welcome. Dads, make the plan and give Mom's brain a rest. I've watched both of our sons and son-in-law struggle to do their part. Most of the time they get right. Parenting is hard work and certainly not for the faint-of-heart. I had an "aha" moment today, as a matter of fact! One of the boys called this morning to chat on his way home from a business trip. He was telling me about his precious daughter and her persnickety ways when he stopped mid-thought and said that he had not appreciated how picky he was and how we dealt with that until he saw his own daughter repeating his behavior! I laughed because the stories of his own pickiness are family legend now as hers will be years from now. We simply love our children and do our very best to guide with love even when our patience is as thin as dental floss!

#5. Friends can become like family, but family always comes first. My mother was an only child who was pampered and protected all her life. She had no inkling about sibling rivalry, but she somehow figured out how to build a family. Daddy came from a large family of poor country people and had an alcoholic father to boot, but he too figured out the family thing. My theory is that in the early days of radio and later television serials (soap operas), they both drew brain pictures about what an ideal family looked like and set out to make one together. We grew up strong and grounded with a firm hold on what a marriage should be like. Daddy worked and Mom stayed at home and dinner was served at six. Mom and Daddy made a family and instilled in the three of us, my brother, sister and me that sense of family. We've done the same thing with our kids. We can bicker and sometimes really get our knickers in a twist among ourselves, but let an outsider attack and Katie bar the door; we will fight for each other,

There are other thoughts, but my hands are tired. Typing just isn't my thing but neither is handwriting. Please, dear reader, excuse typos and misspellings! My sweet brother has offered to edit these posts, but by the time I would get around to editing with him, my ADD would take possession and I'd be off on another rant and life would be over as I know it. Kids, please leave a comment or just pick up the phone. Remember the telephone, the thing with numbers and no camera? You know the number.